Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Hitting a Moving Target

Most of you have probably heard of culture shock but this post is about its lesser known sibling, cultures stress or I as like to refer to it - hitting a moving target. I have been stuck deep in this process recently and it is probably one of the reasons I haven't been posting as much. There are days I find myself in over my head and I will admit I am really looking forward to taking some vacation in September and hoping to come back rested and ready to dig deeper into the culture.

So let's talk a little about culture stress. Since most of you have probably heard of culture shock we can start there...

Culture shock is:
the feeling of disorientation experienced by someone who is suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life, or set of attitudes.

On the other hand culture stress is:
the adjustment stage in which people accept the new environment, adopting new ways of thinking and doing things so that they feel like they belong to the new culture. This takes years, and some missionaries never complete it.

Think about it this way - as you grew you learned how to do things in your own culture, how to shop, how to stand line, how to communicate. Now imagine you have been dropped in a whole new place and you don't know how to do those things anymore. Basically you have been reduced to being a child again. Wham bam culture shock! The shock though fades as you learn how to navigate those things. You then have a choice to assimilate just enough to survive or go farther and dig deeper to really truly thrive in this new place. You have to begin accept the new traditions and culture as your own. 

It is hard though. You will have a day when you communicated well and things went smoothly and then it doesn't. You feel stress just going to town and doing the shopping knowing that you look like a rich white person, as you can afford to buy enough for more than a couple of days. Yet you never can find everything on your list because there is always something kosong/habis (not in stock). You learn to buy a lot of something if it is in stock. You miss a meeting at work because there is no group calendar or email system to let everyone know that the time and place for that very important meeting has changed. Instead you get a panicked phone call at some random time asking where you are because you were suppose to be there awhile ago and everyone is waiting for you. Or you follow the syllabus and prepare the class assigned to you that week but then you get there and they have changed the topic to one you were suppose to teach later in the semester, the one you don't have prepared yet. Sometimes it is just a language miscommunication but some days it feels like you just can't keep up. You just always feel like you are one step behind or trying to hit a moving target.  It is a target you thought you had figured out and then it changes, again and again. It is exhausting! It is stressful! 

For those that know me well you know that flexibility is not one of my strong points. It is that first-born child thing :) I like to be in charge and know what is going on. I also have a quick temper when things don't go my way (just ask my sisters). That is a really bad personality combination for this culture and to be going through culture shock and stress with. I know though the Lord knew exactly what He was doing though when He brought me here. He knew I had a few (ok maybe a lot!) of rough edges that needed to be rubbed down as He shaped me into the person He wants me to become. That doesn't mean the process is easy though and there are days I feel myself slipping toward burnout. I know that means though that I need to turn from self-reliance to God-reliance. Especially as an introvert, I need to take time to rest and process. And I need people to pray for and with me. I am simply a sinful human and can only do the best I can, knowing that I am work in progress by my Creator. 

Here are some ways you can be praying:
~ Pray I will do my best to remain cheerful, flexible, and not get angry in the midst of this culture stress. 
~ Pray I will know my boundaries and when the right time is to accept things and when I should be working to change them. 
~ Pray for patience and understanding for my Indonesian teammates as they work with me each day. I imagine I am not the easiest person to work with on a regular basis, especially because of the many communication errors. 
~ Pray I continue to persevere at assimilating to this new culture, so I can not just survive but thrive here.

Want to read more - here are some good articles about this process.
http://thriveconnection.com/2015/05/05/cross-cultural-stress/
http://www.missionarycare.com/brochures/br_culturestress.htm



Monday, August 10, 2015

Birthday and a Funeral

So what did you do on your birthday was a frequent question from family and friends. Unfortunately the actual day I had to go to a funeral. Pastor Martin Luther served the Baptist church of Indonesia for many years. He was also a respected board member for our hospital. I had attended several meetings with him over the past year and appreciated his perspective. He leaves behind a wife, adult children and many grandchildren.



But just because I didn't get to celebrate on my actual birthday doesn't mean I didn't find time to celebrate. Since I am single it seemed easiest to just throw my own birthday party and celebrate with my friends here. So the Sunday evening before I hosted the Doctor's Bible Study at my house. We managed to eat four homemade pizzas, salad, fruit and almost two whole cakes! It was also a refreshing time of fun and fellowship. Oh and we did study the Bible too :)

Yum! Just waiting to be cooked - I have a very small oven it turns out. 

Food, food, and more food all gone :) 
For my actual birthday I planned to invite the other staff and teachers at the nursing school over for lunch. Because of the funeral we couldn't do that, so it was delayed a day and instead we celebrated on Thursday. This time we feasted on Indonesian food including yellow rice, chicken, and all the trimmings. The shape of the yellow rice is a traditional way of preparing it for special celebrations.

With the cooks


With the Nursing School staff at my house

All in all it was a good birthday. I also received a package from my Grandparents, several cards and lots of Facebook, email, What's App, and BBM messages. Oh and there is still one package coming from parents, so technically the birthday is not over yet :)

Monday, July 20, 2015

Lebaran Visiting

We just wrapped a busy weekend here as our Muslim government officials, neighbors, and friends celebrated the end of Ramadan (fasting month) with two days of celebrating and feasting called Lebaran or Idul Fitri. It is tradition here on big holidays like Christmas, Chinese New Year, and Lebaran, for people to visit and celebrate with those who are marking special days. It is way of showing respect and honor for the person. Being that Indonesia is the most populated Muslim country in the world, it is a big holiday in Indonesia. That said right around the hospital the majority of the people are Christian, Catholic, and Animist Dyak people. It was different on Java island with multiple mosques broadcasting their prayers five times a day and sometime all night, parades and fireworks etc.

So on Thursday the planning for hospital staff to go visiting began. We are between a mid-sized city and a town (189,000 people and 25,000 people respectively) so needed to divide our cars and who would go where, so we could visit all those that needed to be visit. It is quite the project keeping track of which government officials follow which religion, so you know when to visit them. You definitely don't want to show up at the mayor's house during Lebaran if he is Catholic :) You also have to know who will be home and when they are willing to host guests. Some go to visit extended families on other islands during these major holidays or they themselves go visit the first day or the second day but are home the other day. Anyway, it gets a little complicated! 

The first day we visit people that have more of a direct relationship with the hospital, i.e. their kids work here or they worked here before they retired. We also visited the director of the Muslim hospital in the nearby city. The second day we head for open houses at the police chief's office and the mayor's office. These are much more formal affairs held in large well-decorated offices. 

So both days I traveled with the hospital director and his family as I was representing our mission organization in this area and also the nursing school (the director was on vacation this week). So first comes the challenge of finding the house and parking on the narrow streets and alleys. Once you find it though, if the door or gate is open they are receiving visitors. So you walk into their home and shake hands and tell them Happy Idul Fitri. If they are a close friend then you say mohon maaf lahir dan batin, which is essentially asking for forgiveness for sins or wrong you have committed against them. Then you sit and they offer you cookies and other treats. It is polite to wait till they ask you at least two times and usually three before you get up and take some. They are usually also sweet drinks available. Depending on who you are (someone to be respected or a close friend) and who they are (considered wealthy or at least well to do) you might be offered a full rice meal with meat. You will eat at many houses during the day, so it is wise not to take a big portion! Most of the food is quite tasty but can be on the hot and spicy side :) You do have to remember though that it will be out most of the day, so you want to go for those dishes that were well cooked!

While you snack or eat, you talk. Think of it like a family reunion or Christmas party where you see people you don't get to see very often or at least spend much time with and so you spend the time catching up on what is happening in their lives and yours. It is pretty standard to ask about the family and kids and grandkids. Usually if you are in their home, there is a family photo and that helps. Then it is a good idea to ask which of the snacks the woman of the house made herself and make sure you try that one and compliment her. These snacks are usually quite intricate and it takes a lot of work! Once you have eaten and chatted for awhile, it is time to excuse yourself. Always a bit awkward because you basically wait for the conversation do die down and when you have people who like to talk that doesn't happen frequently. My trick in these situations is to suggest we take a picture together and that has us all standing up and then it is easier to leave :) So you all shake hands and head off to the next place. 

Day #2 we headed to the mayor's house and a judge's house, who also happens to be a patient. These tend to be more formal. You come in and shake hands and get your plate of food and sit down at chairs and sometimes tables that have been set-up. You eat and then go out again after shaking hands again. There is not a chat time etc but the key is that you were there and showed your respect. 

There is of course the fact that they usually don't get a lot of Americans doing this visiting, so I am a bit of an anomaly and fascination. Frequently, there are questions about why I am here and what I am doing. I have a legal visa to serve as a teacher at the nursing school, so that is how I explain my presence. Then come the the frequently asked questions, but why would you come to Indonesia or why do you stay here? I usually say I enjoy the friendliness of the people, the good food but not so much the hot weather, all very true but which usually gets a laugh and then we move onto the next topic. During Christmas visiting my picture was taken while I visited a government official and I ended up featured in the newspaper. Not sure if that happened this time around yet or not :) 

While these days can be very long, tiring, hot and you end the day not wanting to eat another thing for a week, I don't usually dislike them once I get going. It is a good time to continue building relationships with Indonesians that I serve with and others who I come into contact with. For me it is all about showing respect and honor and continuing to build relationships, despite our differences. 

This year I went to a total of 7 houses over the two days. Not bad! My record is 21 houses in one day but I was younger then!! Here are a few pictures from the weekend... 

Headed to Pak Tambi's house (our driver)

At the Mayor's Office in Singkawang
Visiting...

... and more visiting

A couple of quick prayer requests 
~ After all that hand shaking and cheek touching I came down with a bad cold. It is making me quite miserable at the moment. It doesn't help that we have guests right now that I am responsible for helping to host. 
~ There was some violence between Christians and Muslim over the Lebaran weekend. Apparently in Papua (considered a more Christian island) a mosque was burned and stones were thrown at people, because they refused to lower the volume on their loudspeaker. In retaliation a church was attacked in Java a day later. Please be praying that those who caused trouble will be held accountable in both situations and that tensions will calm down again quickly. 



Wednesday, May 27, 2015

Hand Washing Dance Competition

Late Post: We celebrate the hospital birthday each year with style! This competition happened while I was in Thailand for the Christian Medical and Dental Conference. I saw the video wandering around Facebook around that time but was reminded of it today when we watched it in chapel.

Let me set the scene a bit for you though first. Each year for the hospital birthday there are the traditional activities like a special ceremony with speakers and cutting the cake etc. There is also a revival service held for several nights. And then there are the competitions... we got volleyball, soccer, badminton, table tennis, etc. Different units of the hospital and nursing school compete against each other or in some cases individuals. And then there are the creative competitions like this one. Each unit was invited to create a dance with the motions you do to wash your hands properly (like before you do procedure etc). This years winner was the medical team (doctors)! May I introduce 3 of our doctors, Dr. Medha, Dr. Amanda, and Dr. Priska (from left to right). So without further fanfare... gangnam style like you have never seen it before...



....cie...cie..cie...uhuiii...yang juara 1...medis....
Posted by Khalibamakng on Sunday, March 1, 2015

A Funny Fire Drill Video

So our hospital recently held a fire and evacuation drill. Now you wouldn't think that would be funny but considering it was our first drill ever and they did it up big, it was funny, although it is probably funnier if you know the people involved. I know you won't be able to understand most of what is said but in general it follows a routine. The nurses are conducting bedside report when a "fire" is discovered. The nurses notify others and they try to put the fire out but are unsuccessful. An evacuation is then declared. What follows is the staff evacuating each of wards. The patients in the beds and family members are actually hospital staff. Actual patients stayed safe in their beds. Then the fire department is notified (by cell phone) and asked to come. They arrive and all work together to put out the fire.

Here is where it gets serious though, our nearest fire department is an hour away. There is no calling 911 and in a few minutes there is a rapid response of trained professionals. That means if a fire were to really happen we would most likely be on our own to put it out. It is not unusual for entire blocks in nearby towns to burn because of a small fire that started in someone's house and because there is no fire department with hydrants, trucks, and hoses nearby. This has been something that has concerned our hospital and missionary staff (specifically Dr. Paul Geary) for many years and they recently took steps to address. Instead of just fire extinguishers we now have high pressure water valves with fire hoses placed in strategic locations throughout the hospital. So this was an opportunity for us to test that system and for the fire department to instruct our team here on how best to put out a fire (which is why you see them learning how to use the fire hoses and adjust the spray nozzles). It helps that the building they were spraying was demolished in the last week or so to make way for a new building (more on that in another post). Now we just have to pray that if we ever do have a fire, it happens in the rainy season so we have a full reservoir to supply those hoses!



...simulasi keselamatan kebakaran gedung RSU Beth Serukam
Posted by Khalibamakng on Monday, May 4, 2015

Monday, May 11, 2015

Medical Missions Course X

It has been a busy 3 months around at the hospital as we hosted our tenth annual Medical Mission Course (MMC). This is a program sponsored by OMF and the hospital. It allows young doctors, dentists and for the first time this year a nurse, who have recently graduated to explore and receive training in medical missions. Here in Indonesia doctors who have just graduated must serve at location chosen by the government for a certain amount of time. Almost always, these locations are in rural underserved areas. That can be a hard transition for a young person who has spent most of their recent years in the big cities of Java with access to much more equipment and resources.

When we began, MMC, was a much shorter program and was held with the purpose to encourage these young people to come serve here at hospital. In recent years though with the development of our MedGo program to send and support Indonesian missionary doctors and nurses it has expanded to its current program lasting almost 3 months. Throughout those weeks, these young people spend time with guest speakers sharing about both medical and spiritual topics. These guests come from locations across Indonesia, Malaysia, Singapore, the United States, and England. They also spend time learning in the hospital with our doctors and the guest doctors. There is also time spent living in nearby villages seeing patients and teaching school kids about health and dental topics. We also mentor each young person on a regular basis, while they are here. In the end the hope is that they will be better equipped for their year of government service, that they will be encouraged to live a missional life as a Christian doctor in the coming years, and that some will be called to serve as missionaries.

This time around I worked with and mentored the nurse we had in the program, Dian. She was from eastern Indonesia but had attended nursing school in Java. She continues to seek God's plan for her life but is exploring serving at a mission hospital in eastern Indonesia or possibly joining MedGo.

The future looks bright for all of these young people... Dr. Tiopan will be serving his year of government service in South Sumatra, amongst an unreached people group. Dr. Nana will be going to North Kalimantan to serve a Dayak tribal group. Dr. Icha will be serving her year in Central Java. Others are continuing their education or returning to their home areas to serve. Please be praying for the Lord's direction in their lives.

MMC X with OMF and Hospital Team 

Praying over the MMC participants before they left

Sunday, May 10, 2015

A Different Kind of April

Well the month of April didn't go as I had planned but I wouldn't have changed a thing about it! I got to spend most of the month with one our new families, the Hodges, down in Salatiga while we waited for the birth of their 3rd child. Salatiga is a nice place for a break with its cooler weather, large expat population including several friends, and fun places to eat.

Celebrating birthdays with friends

Attending the play at the international school

Enjoying yummy food like sate that just isn't the same in Kalimantan

Ash and Katrina Hodges along with their two daughters arrived in Indonesia in mid-January. They have dived right into language and culture learning all the while expecting daughter #3 in mid-April. Initially there were signs she was going to come before her due date, so I headed to Salatiga but then she decided she was quite comfortable where she was at and was actually 10 days overdue. For the birth story you can head here. That however managed to give her the same birthday as one of her grandmas and she was named after the other grandmother. She was also born on a day Indonesia remembers a young woman who championed education for girls. So meet Charlotte Kartini Hodges...

Born April 21st, 2015 at 9:10 pm
Weighing 3.7 kg (8# 1oz)
54 cm long (21 inches)

She joins big sister Annie (almost 4 y/o) and Beatrice (almost 2)

The Hodges 
It was also good to get to know the Hodges better. I spent the month living with them, so we got to know each other very well! I was also able to meet with several expats who were having health problems and others who are currently pregnant. There are several who are planning to give birth in Indonesia in the coming months, so you can be praying for them.