Hitting a Moving Target

Most of you have probably heard of culture shock but this post is about its lesser known sibling, cultures stress or I as like to refer to it - hitting a moving target. I have been stuck deep in this process recently and it is probably one of the reasons I haven't been posting as much. There are days I find myself in over my head and I will admit I am really looking forward to taking some vacation in September and hoping to come back rested and ready to dig deeper into the culture.

So let's talk a little about culture stress. Since most of you have probably heard of culture shock we can start there...

Culture shock is:
the feeling of disorientation experienced by someone who is suddenly subjected to an unfamiliar culture, way of life, or set of attitudes.

On the other hand culture stress is:
the adjustment stage in which people accept the new environment, adopting new ways of thinking and doing things so that they feel like they belong to the new culture. This takes years, and some missionaries never complete it.

Think about it this way - as you grew you learned how to do things in your own culture, how to shop, how to stand line, how to communicate. Now imagine you have been dropped in a whole new place and you don't know how to do those things anymore. Basically you have been reduced to being a child again. Wham bam culture shock! The shock though fades as you learn how to navigate those things. You then have a choice to assimilate just enough to survive or go farther and dig deeper to really truly thrive in this new place. You have to begin accept the new traditions and culture as your own. 

It is hard though. You will have a day when you communicated well and things went smoothly and then it doesn't. You feel stress just going to town and doing the shopping knowing that you look like a rich white person, as you can afford to buy enough for more than a couple of days. Yet you never can find everything on your list because there is always something kosong/habis (not in stock). You learn to buy a lot of something if it is in stock. You miss a meeting at work because there is no group calendar or email system to let everyone know that the time and place for that very important meeting has changed. Instead you get a panicked phone call at some random time asking where you are because you were suppose to be there awhile ago and everyone is waiting for you. Or you follow the syllabus and prepare the class assigned to you that week but then you get there and they have changed the topic to one you were suppose to teach later in the semester, the one you don't have prepared yet. Sometimes it is just a language miscommunication but some days it feels like you just can't keep up. You just always feel like you are one step behind or trying to hit a moving target.  It is a target you thought you had figured out and then it changes, again and again. It is exhausting! It is stressful! 

For those that know me well you know that flexibility is not one of my strong points. It is that first-born child thing :) I like to be in charge and know what is going on. I also have a quick temper when things don't go my way (just ask my sisters). That is a really bad personality combination for this culture and to be going through culture shock and stress with. I know though the Lord knew exactly what He was doing though when He brought me here. He knew I had a few (ok maybe a lot!) of rough edges that needed to be rubbed down as He shaped me into the person He wants me to become. That doesn't mean the process is easy though and there are days I feel myself slipping toward burnout. I know that means though that I need to turn from self-reliance to God-reliance. Especially as an introvert, I need to take time to rest and process. And I need people to pray for and with me. I am simply a sinful human and can only do the best I can, knowing that I am work in progress by my Creator. 

Here are some ways you can be praying:

~ Pray I will do my best to remain cheerful, flexible, and not get angry in the midst of this culture stress. 

~ Pray I will know my boundaries and when the right time is to accept things and when I should be working to change them. 

~ Pray for patience and understanding for my Indonesian teammates as they work with me each day. I imagine I am not the easiest person to work with on a regular basis, especially because of the many communication errors. 

~ Pray I continue to persevere at assimilating to this new culture, so I can not just survive but thrive here.

Want to read more - here are some good articles about this process.
http://thriveconnection.com/2015/05/05/cross-cultural-stress/
http://www.missionarycare.com/brochures/br_culturestress.htm

Birthday and a Funeral

So what did you do on your birthday was a frequent question from family and friends. Unfortunately the actual day I had to go to a funeral. Pastor Martin Luther served the Baptist church of Indonesia for many years. He was also a respected board member for our hospital. I had attended several meetings with him over the past year and appreciated his perspective. He leaves behind a wife, adult children and many grandchildren.

But just because I didn't get to celebrate on my actual birthday doesn't mean I didn't find time to celebrate. Since I am single it seemed easiest to just throw my own birthday party and celebrate with my friends here. So the Sunday evening before I hosted the Doctor's Bible Study at my house. We managed to eat four homemade pizzas, salad, fruit and almost two whole cakes! It was also a refreshing time of fun and fellowship. Oh and we did study the Bible too :)

Yum! Just waiting to be cooked - I have a very small oven it turns out. 

Food, food, and more food all gone :) 

For my actual birthday I planned to invite the other staff and teachers at the nursing school over for lunch. Because of the funeral we couldn't do that, so it was delayed a day and instead we celebrated on Thursday. This time we feasted on Indonesian food including yellow rice, chicken, and all the trimmings. The shape of the yellow rice is a traditional way of preparing it for special celebrations.

With the cooks

With the Nursing School staff at my house

All in all it was a good birthday. I also received a package from my Grandparents, several cards and lots of Facebook, email, What's App, and BBM messages. Oh and there is still one package coming from parents, so technically the birthday is not over yet :)