I always though my first reaction to hearing I needed to go back to the US for a visit would be one of excitement and joy. I was sure I would be excited to see family and friends, visit places and do some shopping etc. When I heard that my Grandma was sick though I realized going home to the United States this time is very much a mixed blessing. Yes I am excited for all the reasons listed above but I was also sad and tired just thinking about the long trip and the details to be arranged. Honestly, I thought if I needed to go home it would be for a good reason - a sister getting married or something.
So it took awhile to process it all and finally book those tickets. It became a daily question for awhile from the teammates I was staying with - so have you booked your plane tickets yet? And my answer was always "belum" which is Indonesian for not yet. Maybe it was because they were expensive, maybe it was because they were on airlines I didn't prefer (United), maybe because time and weather difference in December is a physically hard adjustment for only two weeks, and on top of that reverse culture shock is mentally hard work too. Mostly though I think it was because I didn't (and don't!) want this to be the last time I see my Grandma on this earth.
As things have settled though and those plane tickets have finally been bought I am finding joy and excitement in the idea of being home for Christmas. There is so many people I want to see and so much I want to do! In reality though most of that will have to wait for my next home assignment scheduled for the end of 2016 or maybe the beginning of 2017 now. For now I plan to focus on being with my family and friends. Enjoying these moments with them and making memories.
You will probably need to have a little extra grace for me as navigate life in a place where I haven't lived for two and half years but is still considered home. I am sure I will occasionally say a word (or an entire sentence will pop out!) in Indonesian. I will most likely also be confused as what side of the car the driver sits on and which side of the street the cars should be on :) And there are places guaranteed to send me into reverse culture shock like Wal-Mart and grocery stores!
Please do be praying for the trip. It is never fun and more stressful to travel alone. Pray that I can be fully there despite the jet lag and manage to recover from reverse culture shock long enough to do a little shopping :)
